Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
