I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
