Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
