A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize