I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Who died my cat blue again?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
