is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize