Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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