he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
