So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
