She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
