And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
