i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
