If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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