I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The ass gains better be worth it
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