that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize