Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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