Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
