I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
