We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize