He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's official drugs can't kill me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
