i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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