Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
