I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
