Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
