We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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