When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize