They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
