I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
