yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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