oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize