I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
