I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
