is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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