my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
