When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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