im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
