do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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