I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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