I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
