glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
