The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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