Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
