Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
