guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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