I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
