They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
