There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
