i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
