You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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