I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
