I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
