That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
