just come out here and I will go home with you...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize