Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Oh god it's open bar.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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