is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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