that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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