so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
