physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
