While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
