i was born a porn star she said
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
