its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
