I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
