McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize