I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Buhtt sex?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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