Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
