Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
