So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
