It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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