We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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