just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize